Not Taking a Decision Is a Decision

Every time I talk to someone, they seem upset about something in their life, they want a better job, they want more money. They want to get in shape. They want to leave somewhere, build something, become someone, level up their career. That is normal, we are human beings. We are always looking for something better, and when we finally get it, we start looking for the next thing. It is a loop that probably never ends until we die.

I think that hunger is good. It gives us something to move toward. But I keep noticing the same pattern.

Most people do not actually want to change their lives. They wish their lives would change.

There is a difference.

They want change passively, with something like this running in the background of their head: “If that happens one day, I’ll be very happy.” But they never actually decide that it is going to happen. And because they never make that decision, they never seriously organize their life around making it happen.

The funny thing is that not taking a decision is also a decision.

I do this too, the difference is that I try to be conscious of it, which at least gives me one useful rule: stop bitching about things you are not willing to work for.

For example, I would love to have a six pack.

Am I organizing my life around getting one? No.

Am I putting in the work consistently? No.

Then why would I complain about not having one?

Either it is simply not important enough to me right now, which is completely fine, or I do not deserve the result yet. I cannot demand the outcome while refusing the price. But there are other things in my life that I am ready to die for. Things I work on day and night. And those are often the exact same kinds of things I have spent my entire life hearing other people talk about as if their lives depended on them, they say how badly they want it, they say how important it is, they say how unhappy they are without it. but they do not take action, they never really decided.

Football is probably the best way I can explain how I see this. A player gets the ball and wants to reach the goal. But between him and the goal there are defenders, the goalkeeper, the offside line, the boundaries of the pitch, his teammates, his own position, and a constantly changing game around him. He can put his head down, keep the ball close, and run for his life. That is better than standing still. But it is not enough.

A player like Messi. Even while moving, he is constantly scanning. Sometimes he slows the game down or stops completely. He looks at where he is, where his teammates are, where the opponents are, where the space is, and where the goal is. Then he acts.

I think most people spend their lives staring at the ball. They run. They work. They wake up, go through another day, deal with whatever is directly in front of them, and then get angry when they somehow do not end up where they wanted to go. But they never scan the pitch.

Sometimes the only thing separating you from the beginning of a beautiful journey is one calm hour with yourself. Go to a coffee shop. Sit somewhere quiet. Bring a notebook. No notifications. No fake productivity. No pretending you already know what you want.

Think.

What do I actually want?

How important is it to me?

Where am I right now?

What is standing between me and it?

What would I actually have to do?

What am I willing to sacrifice?

Read. Discover things. Get inspired. Write stupid ideas down. Connect things that did not seem connected before. Make a plan.

And then move.

I am telling you, when the dots finally connect and the journey starts, it feels better than sex. Trust me.

So my process is simple: Stop bitching -> Start having meetings with yourself -> Read and discover more -> Get inspired -> Plan ->Execute -> Adjust while executing

And keep scanning the pitch while you run toward the goal. There are really only two possibilities :

Maybe the thing you keep talking about is not that important to you. That is fine. Wish for it. Put some effort into it from time to time. Maybe you get lucky.

But if you keep telling yourself that this thing matters deeply to you, that you need it, that your life would be different if you had it, and you still refuse to go through the process?

Then stop pretending.

You are a loser.